Common points of those who are stressed by divorce
Each person is divorced.
In order to be freed from DV, to protect yourself and children from domestic violence, the other party may have abandoned the family, or it may be due to an affair.
It is a good choice to get a new life if you are divorced to be free from extreme “disgusting feelings” and “hard feelings”. But just because you get divorced doesn’t mean everything will be happy.
Many people have stress in their life after divorce. Some people have a mental state that is unstable and cannot live a new life smoothly.
So, this time, I researched six common points about the stress that I feel after divorce. If you are a divorce reserve army, you should check it out.
Common point 1 Emotions become unstable
It is a pattern that somehow “sad feelings” and “guilt” are attached even though divorce with a positive feeling. Because you are away from the partner you have lived with until now, the life rhythm will change if you become alone.
So it’s only natural that you can’t reset your feelings immediately. If you try to be positive, it will cause stress, so it is important to relax and “regain your pace”.
Common point 2 loneliness that acquaintances leave
Some people have a negative impression of divorce. For example, it seems that there are many cases where the relationship breaks after a divorce, such as a friend or acquaintance shared by a couple. The longer you get married, the more you can get to know each other.
As a result, it is noticed that there are few personal relationships, and after divorce, the person feels loneliness and feels depressed. It may be related to the fact that there are many divorces among SNS and dating users.
Common point 3 Many troublesome procedures become negative
It is a pattern that diminishes because there are many procedures related to divorce, such as dividing consolation fees, child support, property, and reading legal contracts.
In some cases, if the discussion is frustrated or the procedure is carried out only by a (former) couple, it will not be legally accepted and will cause trouble later on. If that happens, it will cause further negative consequences, so it is important to consult an expert and finish the procedure accurately even if it is troublesome.
First of all, let’s prepare for a new life by suppressing negative emotions and finishing the procedure as smoothly as possible.
Common point 4
It is a pattern that rushes into romance in order to divert loneliness. This is often considered a good way to be positive, but it can also be counterproductive rather than reset.
Even if a new life is not calm, if you fall in love to distract you, you may be tempted by “emptiness”. The reason is that I am not calm.
To put it extremely, even if you rush and love after a divorce, it is difficult to get a sense of fulfillment. At least until you feel calm, it is more effective to reset your feelings by focusing on your hobbies and work.
Common point 5 Unfamiliar with free time
In her marriage, she spent time looking at her husband’s complexion, but if you were alone, you would spend at your own pace. If a child is young, the day will be quicker due to the balance between work and child-rearing, but if you spend more time alone, you will become lonely.
This is a “presence” problem. The existence of a spouse suddenly disappears, so you can’t help feeling awkward.
It may be surprisingly easy if you open it back just before you get married instead of taking it as “free time”. Think of it as a period to regain your lifestyle and way of life, and spend your time doing whatever you want.
Don’t forget to take care of your heart after divorce.
How many common points did you have?
I thought I wanted to be alone, but when I became alone, my feelings of anxiety and loneliness became negative and I felt stressed.
Whatever the reason for divorce, sudden changes in the environment will naturally destabilize the human mind. In such a case, it is important not to be cautious and get rid of power.
Consulting a counselor or therapist is another solution. Carefully take care of yourself in your life after divorce so that you can gradually adapt to changes in the environment.